Oh well...

Well, it seems that when we dont want to cry, we really wont cry......

was feeling down, was feeling that something good and precious i have in my life, im slowly losing it :-( or maybe i never had it, but i thought i had it....only an illusion to make me believe in good things in life, in good relationships, in good people.......but more and more i wonder if i really had that treasure......and, if i had it, im feeling im losing it, every little second that passes by........

not easy to think that in the past, we had, or we thought we had, a friend......and today, that friend is no more your friend, but they take advantage of that feeling you had for them.......and they constantly lie to you......you have no proofs that they are lying, but you feel it inside your heart..............and everytime you talk with them, you cant know the difference between whats true and whats a lie........and you feel so confused and lost because you feel somebody to whom you were very close is playing now with your feelings.............and you feel so stupid, isnt it?

and then, in the same day when that happens, when you are trying to forget everything, and to enjoy your day, suddenly it seems that something happens that reminds you again everything you were trying to forget.....another person, another situation, but the same bad feeling of doubts about good relationships............or about relationships you thought they were good......and now theres this emptiness inside you, theres this feeling that you really dont know whats happening, you feel insecure, you feel that the ones you love and care about, they no more love you, no more need you........you feel they are so fed up of you, of your presence, and of everything that has to do with you :-( you even feel that any second that person is with you is a sacrifice for them, because you are so boring.........and you feel you should run away and disappear forever...........

thats not a nice feeling, specially for somebody who knows how rejection hurts...........and you want to cry, to cry the whole night, when everybody is sleeping and nobody will notice you are so hurted............

and you start to cry, but you decide no, i wont cry today, im so tired of crying........and you eat a whole package of peanuts m&ms and you watch a stupid movie they are puting on the TV about people who are bad for one anothers and at the end everybody gets friends, and for a while you forget you needed to cry and that the world sometimes is a bit mean to you...........

and now, you are here writing for nobody, you are here needing a hug nobody will give you, waiting for a nice word you know you will never have......

you are so stupid and so boring :-(



image from Elotopia

Goodbye to the Normals

It seems it has passed ages since last time i posted here...been happening so much things, my trip to England with my sister and my nephew, the Spiritual Connextions Awards event there, such a wonderful event, i felt so proud for being invited there :-)

i wasnt going to write here now, but was passing by here and i turned on the player ive here with the Burslem Normals song...and suddenly i felt invaded by a feeling of melancholy, really cant understand why thats happening...this song always touches me in such a weird way, dont know if its for the lyrics, or for the music, or for both...i feel something i cant explain, as if it was a huge sadness for something good thats lost forever...but what? maybe my childhood, but im not sure because it was really crap...maybe the times of my life where i only lived the present and didnt think about the past, nor about the future, nor about the "if" nor the "maybe"...does that song reminds me of good things i had and that gave me hope about people and about the world, hope about relationships, about feelings, but then everything has changed and i miss those things, because i got too much attached to them? what is it???

who are the "Normals" to whom im saying goodbye? is it me? am i saying goodbye to myself every day that passes, everyday that im getting older and older, does that mean im dying slowly every little second i live?

why am i feeling like this? i was feeling more or less ok and suddenly this song made me tears in my eyes, and made me feel confused and lost and lonely......

(hey Rob you who made this song, what feelings did you have in the moment you were composing this song? the same as im having now? the same as i always have when i listen to it?)

whats happening inside my head, inside my soul?

but its such a beautiful song, i love it so much....its very special for me, thats why i used it to give the title to my blog :-)

(and im not forgetting my Angels, the song of my life, but thats another story :-)

sweet dreams to whoever is out there wasting their time to read my silly and confused post

XXXXXXXX

im going to put here a remix i found in YouTube and i think its very good...to be honest, im not very found of remixes because when i love a song i love it as it is....but this remix has something of Jean Michel Jarre and i think the result of this work is really interesting:

«Burslem Normals ambient remix (robbie williams/nathan jay)»

My 100th post here

Its my 100th post here and i must say ive nothing special to say, so maybe i shouldnt say anything and wait for a better moment to write a post.......a special one because its my post number 100......but i needed to say an important thing, or well, not very important, but i need to say this...........

these last days ive been feeling really confused........in one side, i realise ive so great things in my life and that makes me happy........in other side, theres so much missing, i know it, im not exagerating, and that makes feel really miserable..........i feel so guilty for not enjoying the good things the way i should do.......i feel im so ungrateful and that one day, ill be punished............

yesterday, while surfing in internet, i found in google images a picture i will never forget...........it was an image of a very young child dead lying on the floor, and that child had no head, the head was lying near..............maybe one more innocent child victim of a bomb........oh my God! i felt so, so bad, i felt so guilty and silly and stupid.........me always moaning about my stupid problems and somewhere little children dying in such a cruel way!!! how is this possible??? do i deserve to have good things in my life, if i dont know how to enjoy them?

why children who have never made harm to this world, why they are suffering in this way???

is there any justice in this world?

people like me who are never satisfied with good things that they have, should take a lesson from this.........such a young child, just in the begining of their life, had no right to live, and died in such an awful way........this child had no time to dream, to smile, to laugh, to love and to be loved.........too soon this child was taken away from this world, and the only thing they met during their small life was so much pain............how we, who are still alive and who had already so many good moments in our lives, how do we feel we have the right to feel sometimes so miserable???

and then i think i should do what kids do at school to learn their lessons, and write one hundred, or maybe one thousand times, this truth:

«Dont waste your life thinking about things you dont have and suffering because of it, and enjoy good things you have, before one day you will realise that those good things may go away and then it will be too late to enjoy them...»

i wont post here that image i found in internet because its too cruel.......although i should look at it everytime i forget its lesson.............but its an image i will never forget........instead of that, i will post here a nice image, an image of hope, peace and joy to celebrate my 100th post here :-)

Feeling...

Feeling that its time to change, its time to leave so many things behind, its time to try to be another person, to try to have another life......feeling its enough of this stupid life where all the time i create problems to the ones who are closest to me......feeling everything is losing its meaning, im getting older and older and havent grown up yet and havent learnt yet how to be happy and how to make other people happy.......feeling that silly child who years ago tried to survive in the middle of tears and fears, that silly child who constantly disturbed everybody who was around her, that silly child who felt she didnt belong to this world, that silly child is still here inside my soul, and cant get rid of her, cant get rid of me.........i should make something, but i cant.........i cant........i know i should change, change everything, change all my life, i should try to be another person, sometimes im so fed up of me...........im so tired of feeling that peoples lives would be much better without me in their lives........i feel its time to go........sometimes i feel i should go away, forever......

this world is better without me, im sure of it.........

oh my God, may i die during one week and then come back again to check if my life has made some difference? to check if somebody has noticed my absence and has missed me?

im feeling so bad, bloody hell :-(

and i know i wont have that hug that im always needing so much when im feeling so bad.......

My new blog in Vox

Well, here i am again talking and talking for nobody lol

my poll closed and only two votes there......but well, at least, they were good votes so i must say the result was 100% positive lol and no i havent voted in my poll, i promise :-)

here is an image of my poor poll lol



ive now a new blog in Vox, its nothing special but its one more little corner in internet that belongs to me :-) to be honest, i had no idea of having a new blog, ive already this one and RW one too, so when ive some time or patience, i prefer to dedicate it to them :-)

but my friend Jenny McKay has a blog there and i wanted to comment it so i had to join the Vox comunity, then i noticed i could also have a blog and i didnt lose that chance..........they have there something very cool, maybe for the bloggers who dont know very well what to write about lol..........its a different question they make everydays so people can answer to it in their blogs.....they also suggest the theme for an image to post in the blogs, and i think thats a fantastic idea :-)

then i enjoyed playing around with the design of my new blog, thats always a cool thing to do, i must confess :-)

here is the banner ive made:

i hope people will enjoy reading my new blog and watching some things i post there :-)

About the fires in Greece...

"Fires are burning in more than half the country," said fire department spokesman Nikos Diamandis. "This is definitely an unprecedented disaster for Greece."

How is this possible??? we are in the 21th century and there has been such a development in technology, in science, and we still have such awful things like these fires in Greece??? half of the country burning, almost 70 people died because of them, houses, farms and lands destroyed, how is this possible??? a lady saw the flames approaching her house and she ran away from them with her 4 children........but the house didnt burn and she was found later very far away, burned to death and hugging her dead children........people said that if she hadnt run away from her house, she and her children would be still alive now............nooooooooooooo!!! i cant accept this!!!

i dont believe the governors of that country are not able to fight agaisnt this disaster, sorry but i cant believe..........PLEASE DO SOMETHING!!!! I BELIEVE YOU CAN FINISH WITH ALL THESE AWFUL FIRES!!!

i only can send to all greeks my positive thoughts and my prays........and i wish that very soon peace will be back to such a beautiful country......


smoke in Greece :-(

To give and to receive

I havent written here for ages, well at least it looks like that lol :-)

im happy because i had here in my poll my first vote and a positive vote! not many days left to vote and only one vote but at least its a good vote :-) (and i promise it wasnt me voting there) so thanks so much to the one who voted in my poll and who enjoys my blog and a big hug to that nice person, whoever they are :-)

then i wanted to ask a question but i think theres no answer for it.....

why in this world there are so many people who think that all nice things somebody makes are made with the intention of receiving something in return? why people dont believe that there are some people, there are some occasions, when a nice attitude doesnt need anything in return, or maybe only a smile and a bit of joy?

kids are wise, even animals are wise........they are nice to us only to receive a hug, a smile, a nice word.........or they are nice to us simply because they want to be nice, they enjoy being nice :-)

why we the adults, we are so complicated? why we receive a nice thing and the first thing we think is: why are they making this to me? which are their intentions? are they thinking i must pay this back, but how? maybe its better to refuse this offer.....maybe its better not accept nice things from this person because ive nothing to give back or maybe they will ask for things i dont want to give.........

and then i think why this world is so sad.......because people dont accept simple and nice things and gestures, people are afraid of them........and if they dont accept those things, they also refuse to make simple and nice things to the others........for them, its easy to buy and sell, they see the money come, they see the money go, and that doesnt scare them........but if, instead of money, theres a relationship, there are feelings, people simply run away from them.......they need to see whats behind an attitude, whats behind a little present.........but those things arent visible to the eye, they are only visible to the heart.......and people dont like things that are not visible to the eye, maybe because they are insecure.......or maybe because they are afraid of believing in the bright side of life..........they are afraid of believing in the good side of everybody.........

its so nice to give.....since very young i always loved to give, and sometimes i wished i was very rich so i could give special presents to all special people in my life.........and i must say that everytime i give a present to somebody, the only thing i want in return is their joy of having that present :-) i think thats more than enough, and that makes me so happy too.......

but sadly this world has so many mean people, who are so cruel and selfish, thats not very easy to believe in good actions and in good words, isnt it?

but sometimes we should give a try, i think :-)

Forever Young

I was in my 20s when i listened to this song and i always loved it so much...........more than 20 years passed by and i keep loving it as the first time i listened to it........Forever Young..........beauty is always young, isnt it? good things are always good, even when the time passes.............this song and this video always touched my heart, really dont know why........or maybe because it talks about a dream of every human being, the dream of being eternally young, the dream of living forever...............the last bit, when the trumpet plays, is my favorite one, i always put the music louder in that bit and i always ask people around me to let me listen to it :-)

its funny how so much time has passed and my heart has the same feelings that had more than 20 years ago........oh my God, i wish so much i was 20 again!..........but i didnt want to go back in past, not at all..............i remember that time my life was really hard, i had very bad moments, mainly because of my father.......maybe one of the best things i had in those times was the music..........i loved the music of the 80s, i was so much time listening to it, specially the english pop and rock...............it was a golden era of the music, many people say it and i agree with them..........even today i keep loving so many songs of those times........ :-)

yeah, it would be so great if i was young again, young forever.........life would be so much better, im sure............so many chances i lost when i was young, because of my life, i could have them again..............so many things that keep hurting me today, maybe would disappear.........so many wounds the past gave to my heart, maybe could be fixed now...........only because i would be young again, and i would have new chances now to start everything again............

but, its only a dream, isnt it?

as the song says: Its so hard to get old without a cause/I dont want to perish like a fading horse
.............

here is this beautiful video, and the beautiful lyrics of this wonderful song:



Forever Young
(Alphaville)

Lets dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait were only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever
We dont have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The musics for the sad men

Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders were getting in tune
The musics played by the madmen

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why dont they stay young

Its so hard to get old without a cause
I dont want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever

So many adventures couldnt happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

I NEED TO CRY!

I DONT NEED FAVOURS!

I DONT NEED PEOPLE WHO ARE ONLY WITH ME BECAUSE THEY FEEL PITY OF ME!

I ONLY NEED PEOPLE WHO REALLY LOVE ME AND CARE ABOUT ME!

IF SOMEBODY DOESNT LOVE ME, IF THEY REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT ME, IF THEY FEEL IM TOO MUCH IN THEIR LIFE, IF THEY THINK I DONT BELONG TO THEIR WORLD, IF THEY FEELTHAT IVE NO SPACE IN THEIR HEART.......

SO PLEASE, BE SINCERE AND TELL ME THAT!!!

I WILL LEAVE THEM IN PEACE, I PROMISE! I WILL NEVER MORE BOTHER THEM!

BECAUSE I REALLY DONT NEED FAVOURS!!!

oh my God! i want to disappear!!!

(i should have the courage to go away........)

Missing

Only a little post here to tell that i miss so much all good moments i had in my life with people who were (and still are) so special for me and to whom i thought i was special too.....

good moments that are gone and will never come back again.....

life changes, people change........only me doesnt change......i keep needing those moments as i needed when they happened.......and i keep missing them so much :-(

but well, thats life, isnt it?

maybe i should change too.....so it wouldnt hurt so much........

i only needed to tell this......

nothing more......

New stuff in my blog

Maybe i need to get a life lol because im puting things in my blog that maybe nobody will see lol but today i decided to add some things :-)

i added two radios: one is the Spiritual Connextions Radio that belongs to the Spiritual Connextions site (a great site dedicated to spiritualism and to all people all over the world interested in this subject) and this radio is, till now, the only online radio also all connected with spiritualism.......it has a very good choice of songs and it also has interviews to famous spiritualists, live shows and interesting programmes about this subject.......



the other radio, i created it today in a portuguese site dedicated to music......its called Cotonete, funny name lol..........i chose the kind of music i prefer and i wish people will enjoy the songs there :-) i prepared it to play when this page is opened but sadly this radio cant be listened in Firefox browsers, only in Internet Explorer........anyway, if you want to listen to Spiritual Connextions Radio or to any video posted in my blog, better first turn off this radio which i called Blue Station :-)

the other thing i added to my blog is a poll.......in this first poll i ask people what do they think about my blog..........well, i hope somebody will answer to it, because me, as the creator of this blog, i cant answer lol...........anyway i gave more than one month to the end of the poll.......now, please be honest! im curious to know your opinion :-D

Our earth

I found today in internet the impressions that the astronauts made about what they felt when they saw the earth from the moon......and they are really amazing.........in fact, must be an unique experience to see our beautiful planet from so far, and only see its beauty............it looks like theres no bad things in this world, no pain, no hate, we live altogether in the same planet, a very fragile one but plenty of wonderful things all around us :-)



ASTRONAUT'S IMPRESSIONS ON VIEWING
THE EARTH FROM THE MOON
---------------------------------------- ----------------------
"The view of the earth from the moon fascinated me - a small disk, 240,000 miles away. It was hard to think that little thing held so many frustrations. Raging nationalistic interests, famines, wars, pestilence don't show from that distance....If some stranger came from another part of the heavens, he would certainly know instinctively ...that the destinies of all who lived on it must inevitably be interwoven and joined. We are one hunk of ground, water, air, clouds, floating around in space. From out there it really is one world."
----- Frank Borman, commander of Apollo 8, the first lunar mission



"The soft, glowing presence of planet Earth in the black abyss had a pristine clarity uncaptured by photographs. Images on film lack the subtle shades, the brightness, and the depth of the living sphere, which bulged out of the blackness as I sailed outward on Apollo 11... From the deep blue of the Mediterranean, all of Europe and Africa sprawled away in soft pastels, innocent of political boundaries. And from the surface of the moon, where I could cover with my thumb the site of all human history, the Earth seemed fragile as a Christmas ornament, drifting like a lost balloon on the black velvet of space. The image of a living Earth, capable of extinction, disarms illusions of individual or tribal isolation. We gained more than altitude in those 66 years from Kitty Hawk to the moon. Seeing Earth not as an extension of man, but man as an extension of Earth."
----- Buzz Aldrin, lunar-module pilot of Apollo 11



"It was something so awe-inspiring you had to sneak a glance at it every chance you got." ...[Seeing the Earth from that vantage point convinced him it must have been created by a higher power.]... "It's too beautiful to have happened by accident. To me, it was like sitting on God's back porch, looking back home."
----- Gene Cernan, Commander Apollo 10

A sad story

I received this sad story months ago in my email box and today i found it and i will post it here because its very touching........

“Boy, I am really easy to touch ...

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying "I'm sorry you do not have enough money to buy the doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus cannot bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mummy so that she can give it to her when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me."

"I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister"

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you have enough money?''

"Ok" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money."

Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me.''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose.''

"You know, my mummy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I
started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the Funeral Home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place water-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.”

Luna

When i was in the World New 7 Wonders show, one of the artists invited to sing there was Alessandro Safina........till then, i havent heard much about him, so i was ignoring what was going to happen........only who was there can understand what i felt.......when he started to sing his wonderful song Luna in that beautiful stadium, the magnificent music coming from everywhere, it was like a dream, and in some bits, the highest moments of the song, the most touching, i confess i even felt a cold in my spine..........

its a very special song and its sung in a very special way.......and even being spoken in italian, i understand most things that are said there........italian is one of my favourite languages, it belongs to my 3 favourite languages (the portuguese, the english and the italian).........its such a sweet and romantic and beautiful language, i think :-)

and that song also talks about the moon, thats a planet i love, it has so much importance in my life, it gives us company in the night, it shows how in different places in the world so many people can be watching at the same time the same moon and how that connects those people who are so far away from one anothers...........

so i thought that song deserved a post here in my blog, and i will put here its lyrics both in italian and in english, and ill put two videos i found in YouTube, one its the original video and other one its a great video with wonderful images of the moon :-)



Luna
(Alessandro Safina)

Only you can hear my soul
Only you can hear my soul

Luna tu
Quanti sono i canti che hai ascoltato gia
Desideri che attraverso i secoli
Han solcato il cielo per raggiungerti
Porto per poeti che non scrivono
E che il loro sennospesso perdono
Tu accogli i sospiri di chi spasima
E regali un sogno ad ogni anima
Luna che mi guardi adesso ascoltami

Only you can hear my soul

Luna tu
Che conosci il tempo delléternita
E il sentiero stretto della verita
Fa piu luce dentro questo Cuore mio
Questo cuore d’uomo che non sa, non sa

Che l’amore puo nascondere il dolore
Come un fuoco ti puo brucaire l’amima

Luna tu
Tu rischiari il cielo e la sua immensita
E ci mostri solo la meta che vuoi
Come poi facciama quasi sempre noi
Angeli di creta che non volano
Anime di carta che si incendiano
Couri come foglie che poi cadono
Sogni fatti d’aria che svaniscono
Figli della terra e figli tuoi che sai

Che l’amore puo nascondere il dolore
Come un fuoco ti puo brucaire l’amima
Che l’amore puo nascondere il dolore

Ma e con l’amore che respira il nostro cuore
E la forza che tutto muove e illumina

Only you can hear my soul

Alba lux, diva mea, diva es silentissima



English Translation

(Only you can hear my soul)

Oh Moon
how many songs you have listened
wishes that wandered the centuries
cutting the heavens to reach you
refuge for poets that never wrote
and all those thrown into lunacy
you invite the sights of lovers
and give a dream to all souls
moon, who guides me, listen now

(Only you can hear my soul)

Oh moon
who you know time and eternity
and the narrow walk of truth
send more light into this heart of mine
the heart of a man who doesn't know, oh doesn't know

that love can hide pain inside
like a fire that will destroy your soul

(Only you can hear my soul)

Oh moon
you light the heavens in their infinity
you show only what pleases you
just like we do every time
angels made of clay, inable to fly
souls made of paper, that will burn
wilted like leaves, that fall
dreams made of wind, that will fade
children of the earth, children of the moon, that know

that love can hide pain inside
like a fire that will destroy your soul

(Chorus sings latin: light of the dawn, my goddess, my so silent goddess)

but it's love our heart beats with
and love is the force that moves and illuminates everything

(Chorus sings latin: light of the dawn, my goddess, my so silent goddess)

(http://lilyhbp.deviantart.com/)

My desert

My heart is like a desert
where the only voice I hear
is my own voice

Walking for years
among dunes all alike

The sand is hot
but my soul feels so cold
And at night
I can't see any stars in the sky

I think it's too late
to find my flower
in this desert

I think it's too late
to find my oasis
that will save me

But I will keep walking
and walking
until my feet hurt
until I have no more strength

And one day
I will give up
of looking for nothing
in this desert

The desert of my life

Anonymous

You Are So Beautiful to Me

Today this song doesnt leave my head.......why is it?

You Are So Beautiful to Me
(Joe Cocker)

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me

Such joy and happiness you bring
Such joy and happiness you bring
Like a dream
A guiding light that shines in the night
Heavens gift to me
You are so beautiful
To me

About the airplane accident in Brazil

I feel so sad with what happened today in Brazil, that awful airplane accident, so many people who died.......and their families who were already there in the airport waiting for them, and suddenly this happens, oh my God it must have been so painful for all them.......

a few days ago, brazilians had such a great joy when the Chirst Redeemer statue was elected one of the World 7 Wonders, so happy and proud they must have felt, i also was happy for them, because Brazil is our brother country..........and today this horrible accident happens........all the country is now crying for all the victims......

it seems people have no right to be happy........it seems they must pay for the good things they have........is this fair?

sometimes life is so, so unfair :-(

i wish all those people who died today are now resting in peace, and i wish all their families will be strong enough to handle all this pain they are feeling now......

+

Emerald Wave

A beautiful image for today, i found it in internet, its called Emerald Wave.....

maybe the best image to stop a bit and enjoy it and forget all things in our lives that annoy us......and only feel the beauty of this sea.........the silence of an image that says so much......

goodnight to everybody who spends a little time of their lives reading my messages in this blog :-)

My birthday message........

I need to write something but dont know what, im just feeling so bad, im feeling sad, i want this day to finish quickly, im not enjoying this day, im so fed up of everything, i wanted to go away forever, i wanted to hide somewhere and cry the whole day, im not happy with me, im not happy with the world, i feel lost, i feel im being silly, im stupid, im getting old and the world doesnt need me, its hurting my head and im tired of crying, where is my rainbow? where is my sunshine? where is my reason of living? what am i doing here? why my nights are so dark? where are my stars? where are my angels? theres a music somewhere but i cant listen to it.....why?......i feel im walking in a desert for days, months, years, and i havent found yet a simple drop of water.......im thirsty, im so thirsty......people say theres a fountain somewhere, a fountain with fresh water, but i know theres no fountain, and even if i find one, i will realise its dry.......and it never had water in it, i know it........dreaming about something i never had, dreaming about something i will never have........does love exist? i dont believe in love.........wheres happiness? theres so much pain in this stupid world.......in this moment, so many people hurting so many other people, so many innocent children crying............so many people being cruel to so many animals........so many trees dying and dying............stupid world where i live, im so tired of everything, im so tired of me, im hating this day, why theres a day where people celebrate the day they were born? only very special people should deserve a day like that, where they will be surrounded by people in which lives they have made a difference........ive not made any difference in any people life.........world isnt better with me here, world would be better without me here, but ive no courage to go away..........im so selfish, im breathing an air i dont deserve, i dont belong to this world........."the language of love" Robbie Williams said now in his song Misunderstood, whats that? birds are singing outside, maybe thats the only language of love........

i think im needing a hug right now........

The little prince - Chapter 6

Oh, little prince! Bit by bit I came to understand the secrets of your sad little life . . . For a long time you had found your only entertainment in the quiet pleasure of looking at the sunset. I learned that new detail on the morning of the fourth day, when you said to me:

"I am very fond of sunsets. Come, let us go look at a sunset now."

"But we must wait," I said.

"Wait? For what?"

"For the sunset. We must wait until it is time."

At first you seemed to be very much surprised. And then you laughed to yourself. You said to me:

"I am always thinking that I am at home!"

Just so. Everybody knows that when it is noon in the United States the sun is setting over France.

If you could fly to France in one minute, you could go straight into the sunset, right from noon. Unfortunately, France is too far away for that. But on your tiny planet, my little prince, all you need do is move your chair a few steps. You can see the day end and the twilight falling whenever you like . . .

"One day," you said to me, "I saw the sunset forty-four times!"

And a little later you added:

"You know--one loves the sunset, when one is so sad . . ."

"Were you so sad, then?" I asked, "on the day of the forty-four sunsets?"

But the little prince made no reply.



happy birthday to me...........

About my birthday tomorrow :-(

So tomorrow its my birthday, one more day in my life, one more year, me getting older and older, and when i look backwards i realise how silly has been my life, how little i have made in this world.......most people make a difference in the world, starting for making a difference in other peoples lives, but i feel i have not been making any difference in any life of all people i know...........i believe all people i know very easily would live without my presence in their lives......and maybe some of them would feel really reliefed with my absence, i feel it :-(

usually my birthday is always my favourite day of the year......because in that day, i feel a bit special, my closest family and friends remembering me and calling me to wish me a happy day, or giving me nice presents, and writing to me cards with sweet messages, or making me wonderful surprises.....or simply being with me and giving me all their love.........and then the "cake moment" when i feel really special, everybody clapping at me :-) also in that day i know i dont need to prepare anything, as it happens in other parties, where i always have lots of things to organise, and i feel always so responsible if i forget something or somebody lol

but this year, dont know why, i feel my birthday will be really crap.....i know im being unfair because my family who loves me so much, will be here with me, as they always are, always, in the good and in the bad moments, i know it..........but im not talking about them, im talking about me, i feel my stupid dark clouds decided to invade my heart and they wont go away, specially in my birthday.........ive this sad feeling that something very important to me is missing, its always missing, and how can i feel happy with that?

its funny how my life is like a jigsaw, and in that jigsaw of 3.000 pieces theres a little piece missing.......and instead of being happy with the 2.999 pieces i already have, i insist on thinking only about the one thats missing.........is this fair?

i know its my fault, i should fight against this feeling, i should try to do something, but i simply cant! i feel i needed something that would give me enough strength to make a difference not only in my life but also in the lives of the ones around me..........

and time keeps passing, years keep going, and here i am in the middle of nowhere waiting for nothing..........and one day its too late, i will go away and in my last seconds i know it, i will regret all my life, all my feelings, all my thoughts, all my actions.........but it will be too late and i wont have more time to change things, to change myself........

and the world will keep turning round as if i have never existed........

and people will keep living their lives as if i had never made part of them......

will anybody really miss me when i will go away?

Feel

One of Robbie Williams best songs, so romantic and beautiful and so touching :-)

and i love the lyrics because they say so well what im feeling in some moments of my life.........

i will post here the lyrics and a video of his amazing performance in Knebworth, and i will dedicate it to a very, very special friend whos very far, but its always on my mind :-)

FEEL

Come and hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living.
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given.

I sit and talk to god
And he just laughs at my plans,
My head speaks a language,
I don’t understand.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins,
going to waste.

I don’t wanna die,
But I ain’t keen on living either.
Before I fall in love,
I’m preparing to leave her.

I scare myself to death,
That’s why I keep on running.
Before I’ve arrived,
I can see myself coming.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins,
going to waste.

And I need to feel real love
And a life ever after.
I cannot get enough.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in,
I got too much love,
Running through my veins,
going to waste.

I just wanna feel real love,
In a life ever after
There’s a hole in my soul,
You can see it in my face,
it’s a real big place.

Come and hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living,
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given

Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.

Friday 13th and other numbers

Today is Friday 13th and its funny how so many people dont like this day saying its a day of bad luck..........only because its Friday and the 13th day of the month lol

thanks God, ive not this superstition, as i dont have so many other superstitions, such as not opening umbrellas inside home, or avoiding to pass below a ladder or being afraid of black cats........oh my God what should i do because one of my cats is black? lol.........and i love her so much and she gives so much joys to me :-)


(Titó, my beautiful and lovely black cat)

but its funny because there is something i keep making, cant avoid that, its to knock on wood everytime people talk about things that im afraid it may happen, i know its so stupid but cant avoid that lol

but the Friday 13th i really dont mind about it, i even like the number 13, its a cool number, maybe my second favorite number, because my first one is the 8 :-)

i love the number 8 its the coolest of all, now please dont ask me why because i dont know why :-) i remember my 8th birthday when i received a yellow ball and i loved playing with it with my sisters lol......but i dont believe thats the reason, its a cool number all round, it recalls me a snowman, the zero is also round but its boring all equal but the 8 recalls the infinit, the 8 also includes all numbers in it, we can see that in a calculator, when theres no number in the little monitor, which number we can see there? the 8 and with it we can type all the other numbers, thats so cool!



8 is also the number that from 0 to 10 we can divide more times in equal parts, 8 we can divide in 8, in 4, in 2 and in 1, no other number has that privilege :-)

well, im not sure why i like so much the number 8, maybe i should prefer the 7, because my birthday its in July, the 7th month, and because the 7 is a number plenty of meanings, but dont know why i prefer the 8.......even in pool games my favorite ball is the black one with the 8 :-)



and why the icon of the "cool" is made with an 8? ------> 8-)

so today its Friday 13th and i must not forget to play the Euromillions, i hope it will give me luck :-)

(and as usual, one of my numbers will be the 8.......but today i will also chose the 13!)

wish me luck :-)

*crossing fingers and toes*

About the New 7 Wonders show

I havent written here yet about the wonderful event of the New 7 Wonders where i had the luck to be watching live :-)

i loved it so much, it was a show plenty of light and music and colour and visual effects and fireworks, it was a very special moment, plenty of emotion, those moments that are unique in our lives and that we will never forget.........

40 000 people in the Stadium and 1,6 millions spectators all over the world!

Portugal was chosen for this event because its considered a safe country with a stable politics, its known for organizing very well these kind of events, and because Portugal in the past had a main importance in the discovery of new lands all over the world......

thats why i feel so proud because i was born in a country that not only has great qualities as a country and as a people, but also it has such a great History :-) in the past we had the courage to go away to the sea and to go to far places where nobody has been before.......and during the trips we didnt know the dangers that were waiting for us........we have a very brave History :-)




in the first partof the show, it was the election of the portuguese 7 Wonders, and i must say ive voted in most of them :-)

here is the list:

Mosteiro de Alcobaça
(Alcobaça Monastery)

Mosteiro dos Jerónimos (Lisboa)
(Jerónimos Monastery-Lisbon)

Palácio da Pena (Sintra)
(Pena Palace-Sintra)

Mosteiro da Batalha
(Batalha Monastery)

Castelo de Óbidos
(Óbidos Castle)

Torre de Belém (Lisboa)
(Belém Tower-Lisbon)

Castelo de Guimarães
(Guimarães Castle)


such wonderful monuments, indeed :-D

in the second part, the New 7 Wonders of the world were finally elected:

The Great Wall, China
Petra, Jordan
Christ Redemeer, Brazil
Machu Picchu, Peru
Chichén Itzá, Mexico
The Roman Colosseum, Italy
The Taj Mahal, India

here is the information about the New 7 Wonders:

The New7Wonders organization is happy to announce the following 7 candidates have been elected to represent global heritage throughout history. The listing is in random order, as announced at the Declaration Ceremony on 07.07.07. All the New 7 Wonders are equal and are presented as a group without any ranking.





Official New 7 Wonders of the World status is subject to a final validation process, and will be confirmed during a forthcoming New7Wonders Inauguration Tour.

and here is a little film i found in YouTube about this wonderful show :-)

Image

My sister Ceu sent now to me this picture saying that it made her recall me :-)
such a wonderful image isnt it?
and it says so much.......

Don't think

Don't think
Don't think about things that hurt you
Don't think about how you are feeling right now
Don't think about where you would like to be now
Don't think about what you would like to be doing now
Don't think about the ones you love and you miss
Don't think about dreams you know they will never come true
Don't think about smiles you can't smile
Don't think about joys you can't have
Don't think about hugs you can't share
Don't think about anything that makes you suffer
That makes you cry

Don't think
Just try not to think
Even only for one second

...

Life is so wonderful now, isnt it?

Anonymous

Angels

...and when love...
...and when love is dead...
...and when love is dead, I'm loving...
...and when love is dead, I'm loving angels...
...and when love is dead, I'm loving angels instead...

I need my angels.....

where are they?

please dont leave me......

Anybody knows...?

Anybody knows the feeling that the sky is so blue and bright, the sun is so warm and nice, and suddenly, for some reason we ignore, theres a dark cloud that appears and it hides the sun behind it, and it insists in being there, the sky gets dark, so dark, and you feel cold, so much cold, as if everything inside your body and your soul had frozen?

anybody knows this feeling?

anybody knows the feeling that suddenly, for some reason we ignore, a big emptiness enters your heart, and you want to have positive thoughts but you simply cant have them, you feel your empty heart invaded by an enormous sadness and you cant avoid your tears?

anybody knows this feeling?

Chinese proverb

I love this chinese proverb, so true and wise :-)

About money

With money you can buy a house, but not a home.
With money you can buy a clock, but not time.
With money you can buy a bed, but not sleep.
With money you can buy a book, but not knowledge.
With money you can see a doctor, but not good health.
With money you can buy a position, but not respect.
With money you can buy blood, but not life.
With money you can buy sex, but not love.

The New 7 Wonders of the World

Im so happy because this Saturday 07/07/2007 it will be in my dear Estádio da Luz the ceremony of the new 7 Wonders :-)

it will be a wonderful moment plenty of meaning not only historical but also artistic, and its important for all mankind.........it will be watched in every television all over the world and ILL BE THERE! :-D

to be honest im very proud because Portugal was chosen for this important ceremony and the place was the stadium of my dear Benfica team, thats the most beautiful stadium all over the world i must say :-)



the tickets are very expensive so i bought the cheapest ones for me and my sister and my nephew but i dont mind to be far from the enormous stage, as long as im there :-D

we will have there lots of artists and known people, lots of visual effects and fireworks, it will be a very special moment, unique, and i feel so happy because i had the luck to find tickets for me and my family :-)

months ago i voted in the 7 Wonders, one of them were the Pyramides of Gisa (Egypt), but after that they decided to give to them a special honour and i agree with them because, in my opinion, they are the most important Wonder of all.......as the votes depend on people all over the world who are still voting, i was afraid that for some reason my dear Pyramides couldnt be chosen and it would be really unfair........but now, they have this special honour that they deserve so much, and i think that was a wonderful idea :-)

i also voted in the Acropolis (Greece), Christ Redeemer (Brazil), Easter Island Statues (Chile), Stonehenge (UK), Taj Mahal (India).......cant remember very well the last one lol, ive voted so long ago, but i think it was the Kremlin (Russia) but im not sure lol



it will be an event that only in 2.000 years it will organised again so i must say that i feel very proud for watching live to this historical ceremony.........and its also important because they will chose there too the portuguese new 7 Wonders :-)

i think they chose Lisbon for this event because its called the City of the 7 Hills :-) that would be so cool, isnt it?!

the ceremony of the 7 Wonders in the 7 of July (7th month of the year) of 2007 in the City of the 7 Hills :-)

here is all the information about it:



The New 7 Wonders of the World will be announced during the Official Declaration ceremony in Lisbon, Portugal on Saturday, July 7, 2007 - 07.07.07.

Register now for live streaming broadcast from Lisbon.



Show information
The event will take place at Portugal's largest venue, the Estadio da Luz in Lisbon. The international event will start at 21:30 (9:30 p.m.) local time, ending at 23 (11 p.m.). Your ticket also allows you to attend the national event which begins at 20:30 (8:30 p.m.) ( The stadium opens at 18:30 (6:30 p.m.). The international show, which will include award-presentation appearances by Hilary Swank, Ben Kingsley, Bipasha Basu, Cristiano Ronaldo, Neil Armstrong and Bertrand Piccard, and also will feature performances by Chaka Khan, Jennifer Lopez, Jose Carreras, Alessandro Safina, Joaquín Cortés, and Dulce Pontes, among others.





The Portuguese event agency Realizar Impact Marketing, known for its innovative, international multimedia, will create and produce the event on July 7, 2007, which will be broadcast around the world.