My 100th post here

Its my 100th post here and i must say ive nothing special to say, so maybe i shouldnt say anything and wait for a better moment to write a post.......a special one because its my post number 100......but i needed to say an important thing, or well, not very important, but i need to say this...........

these last days ive been feeling really confused........in one side, i realise ive so great things in my life and that makes me happy........in other side, theres so much missing, i know it, im not exagerating, and that makes feel really miserable..........i feel so guilty for not enjoying the good things the way i should do.......i feel im so ungrateful and that one day, ill be punished............

yesterday, while surfing in internet, i found in google images a picture i will never forget...........it was an image of a very young child dead lying on the floor, and that child had no head, the head was lying near..............maybe one more innocent child victim of a bomb........oh my God! i felt so, so bad, i felt so guilty and silly and stupid.........me always moaning about my stupid problems and somewhere little children dying in such a cruel way!!! how is this possible??? do i deserve to have good things in my life, if i dont know how to enjoy them?

why children who have never made harm to this world, why they are suffering in this way???

is there any justice in this world?

people like me who are never satisfied with good things that they have, should take a lesson from this.........such a young child, just in the begining of their life, had no right to live, and died in such an awful way........this child had no time to dream, to smile, to laugh, to love and to be loved.........too soon this child was taken away from this world, and the only thing they met during their small life was so much pain............how we, who are still alive and who had already so many good moments in our lives, how do we feel we have the right to feel sometimes so miserable???

and then i think i should do what kids do at school to learn their lessons, and write one hundred, or maybe one thousand times, this truth:

«Dont waste your life thinking about things you dont have and suffering because of it, and enjoy good things you have, before one day you will realise that those good things may go away and then it will be too late to enjoy them...»

i wont post here that image i found in internet because its too cruel.......although i should look at it everytime i forget its lesson.............but its an image i will never forget........instead of that, i will post here a nice image, an image of hope, peace and joy to celebrate my 100th post here :-)

Feeling...

Feeling that its time to change, its time to leave so many things behind, its time to try to be another person, to try to have another life......feeling its enough of this stupid life where all the time i create problems to the ones who are closest to me......feeling everything is losing its meaning, im getting older and older and havent grown up yet and havent learnt yet how to be happy and how to make other people happy.......feeling that silly child who years ago tried to survive in the middle of tears and fears, that silly child who constantly disturbed everybody who was around her, that silly child who felt she didnt belong to this world, that silly child is still here inside my soul, and cant get rid of her, cant get rid of me.........i should make something, but i cant.........i cant........i know i should change, change everything, change all my life, i should try to be another person, sometimes im so fed up of me...........im so tired of feeling that peoples lives would be much better without me in their lives........i feel its time to go........sometimes i feel i should go away, forever......

this world is better without me, im sure of it.........

oh my God, may i die during one week and then come back again to check if my life has made some difference? to check if somebody has noticed my absence and has missed me?

im feeling so bad, bloody hell :-(

and i know i wont have that hug that im always needing so much when im feeling so bad.......

My new blog in Vox

Well, here i am again talking and talking for nobody lol

my poll closed and only two votes there......but well, at least, they were good votes so i must say the result was 100% positive lol and no i havent voted in my poll, i promise :-)

here is an image of my poor poll lol



ive now a new blog in Vox, its nothing special but its one more little corner in internet that belongs to me :-) to be honest, i had no idea of having a new blog, ive already this one and RW one too, so when ive some time or patience, i prefer to dedicate it to them :-)

but my friend Jenny McKay has a blog there and i wanted to comment it so i had to join the Vox comunity, then i noticed i could also have a blog and i didnt lose that chance..........they have there something very cool, maybe for the bloggers who dont know very well what to write about lol..........its a different question they make everydays so people can answer to it in their blogs.....they also suggest the theme for an image to post in the blogs, and i think thats a fantastic idea :-)

then i enjoyed playing around with the design of my new blog, thats always a cool thing to do, i must confess :-)

here is the banner ive made:

i hope people will enjoy reading my new blog and watching some things i post there :-)