Life and its tricks...

Oh well...what can i say?

i think sometimes it seems life has a very weak sense of humour......i mean, it plays silly tricks on us that make us feel really crap, and you know that at that moment some people you know but they dont really like you, they are enjoying it as if they were eating the best ice cream of the world...they dont need to do anything to annoy you, because life makes that for them.....you feel as if some "divine" punishement was there for you, to punish you for your feelings, for your acts, for your thoughts :-(

sometimes its very simple things, but they really put you down....and its funny because it seems "somebody" is chosing the "best" moment for it...

everyday i try to do my best to please everybody...i think the ones around me, they deserve it, and i also know they do the same for me...and when this is mutual, i mean, when this works in both sides, its great for everybody...

but sadly, this doesnt happen everytime i want....sadly, there are some people i cant please, whatever i make...and if i ask for something very simple to them, it seems im asking for something completely impossible...then i ask to me, if those people really love me, if they are really my friends....

(oh my God, my bloody doubts :-(.......)

then life decides to play a stupid trick on you....and you feel like Bridget Jones in her beautiful dress that she took hours to chose, when the cars pass near her on the rainy road...you feel as if the world has finished, isnt it?

and worse than that, you know that the ones who dont like you, they are laughing at you at that moment...nobody is guilty, only the destiny...its life....and you wait and wait that things will change one day, because you dont know how much more time you will be able to handle with this...

i think im not explaining very well what im feeling, but i cant explain it better......its so confusing.....i only know its not nice, and that it makes me feel so crap :-(

(i need some sun to dry my dress...)

About dreams

Dreams are funny because they make us live in a world that only exists in our head...sometimes, they are really bad, and we feel so desperate and then when we awake and realise it was only a nightmare, its such a relief...sadly, when those dreams are very deep, all day long we cant take them out of our thoughts...and it has already happened to me to feel some sadness during the day only because i had a very sad dream during the night

dreams make us remember things that are hidden in the deepest of our hearts...the good things but also the bad things, and its sometimes so upseting to remember things we keep trying to forget because they only give us sadness or fear...

the other night, i dreamt about Freddy my old cat that sadly died some months ago :-(
but that dream was so nice, because it was so real and it was so great to see him again

i miss my cat so much and so many times i remember him...he was such a cute cat, he loved everybody, he was so sweet.....at the end of his life i made everything to make him live a bit more but without suffering, and he was always so brave, accepting patiently the treatments.......i think he was a lil hero, all the vets even called him "the survivor"...he died with more than 20 years old, i had to ask the vet to put him to sleep because we had tried everything but there wasnt anything else to do and i didnt want to see him in pain...

it was very hard to make this, to say goodbye to my old friend, but till the last second i havent left him, and he died so calmly in my arms...

and these things hurt so much, we try not to remember them because they make us sad, so when i dreamt the other night about my Freddy and i saw him so real in front of me, in one hand it made me remember again all those sad moments we had, but in other hand it made me feel so happy because i miss him so much so its so fantastic to be again with him, even if its only in my dreams...

i know its only a cat, but for me the pets who live with us and with whom we share so many moments of happiness and sadness, who keep us company when we feel alone, who make us so many times smile when we are down, who dont ask for anything, because they only want our love and attention, those pets for me are my family too :-)

its also so great to dream about the ones we love but sadly they are so far from us....i even try not to think much on them during the day so i know during the night they might visit me in my dreams :-)

life sometimes is a bit hard when the ones we love the most cant be with us...it hurts so much, it seems some part of us is missing, it seems our life is incomplete...it makes us feel that the sun has gone and its always raining in our heart...

so, when we dream about those we love but we miss them so much, it seems some shining star went to bright our dark nights...and in those moments, we dont feel alone anymore...



A pic my sister Céu took to Freddy

maybe he was dreaming about something in that moment...who knows?