yesterday i fell from a bench.......i was on a bench because i couldnt get something that was far from me so i climbed one of my kitchen benches........my family keeps telling me to be careful when i do that and im always careful, but yesterday dont know what happened and suddenly i was lying on the floor............its funny because i fell but the bench didnt fall.........my sister saw me falling and she said it seemed i was falling in slow motion lol...........i was with my poor back on the floor and i was very nervous because i thought i had broken some bone........but thanks God everything was ok.......i still have a bit pain in my left arm and leg and in my back but im happy nothing bad happened to me.............it seemed my guardian angel was there looking after me :-)
today i needed to buy a few sweets to give to my family at Easter Sunday........my sister wasnt at home and she had the card with her and i had no money at home that moment........i decided to open a little box i have with some coins ive been keeping because its euros that are not portuguese and i was collecting them..........but i needed them so i took them to make my shoppings..........it wasnt much but it was enough to buy Easter choccies to my mum and sisters and nephew..........sadly my maths are not very well because when i needed to pay, the girl said it missed one euro..........oh my God, i felt so bad because i didnt want to leave there one of my presents.........but i had the luck that a lady who was after me in the queue, she gave the money missing to me......... :-O............she never saw me in her life, i dont look like somebody whos needing money from other people, but she felt happy to help me..........to be honest i felt very embarrassed with the situation and my face was as red as an apple lol............but i was so lucky :-)
so, in less than 24 hours two lucky things happened to me........i should be feeling happy, isnt it?
but no............im not feeling happy this moment........in fact, im feeling even a bit sad, as if something was missing...........i cant control myself...........
why im like this??? i hate when i feel i shouldnt feel sad........i hate when i feel i should feel happy and grateful, but im not............its not fair :-(
if things would have been different, maybe i would be now in the hospital, or something worse............i cant forget that moment when i fell, i had a window in front of my head..........i could have broken that window with my head and i wouldnt be now writing my blog.............and today in the supermarket, that lady showed to me that this world has nice people who enjoy to help the others without wanting anything back........isnt that so wonderful?
so, im asking to me, again and again, why im feeling such a hole in my heart right now?
im afraid one day i will be punished for being so ungrateful...........for wanting to keep my eyes closed to the bright things around me............
but i cant help it..........im not feeling well and theres such a dark cloud inside me...............
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, i hate this...........:-(
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