Thinking about thinking

So here its me again, talking for nobody lol

the last post i talked about my addiction to Bubblez! i said i wasnt able to pass level 20, but after that i was so happy because i passed it and i reached level 28 wahooooooo! sadly dont know what happened and one day i tried to open the games page but it had problems in loading and when it did, all my game had gone :-(

i know its a bit childish to be annoyed with such an insignificant thing but the fact is that i felt really frustrated.......and i was so annoyed that i didnt play it for some days, but today i started from level 1 again and im already in level 15 :-)

i know im too old to lose my time playing these games but the truth is that i enjoy it and so many times while im playing, i forget silly things in my life that upset me..........it seems all my attention is there in those coloured bubbles and in making them disappear, and problems and frustrations go away.......bit weird in fact, because i play with other people, people i dont know, and in that moment those people are maybe the only "friends" i have..........they are enjoying the same game as me, they are there, i know it, and they dont disappoint me.........how many times in real life, people we love and we care about, they dont love the same things as us, they are not there when we need them, and so many times they disappoint us? how many times?

so thinking about thinking, the other day while playing this game, i started to feel such a sadness that i began to cry like a baby.......silly me.............why i was so well playing this game thinking about nothing and suddenly all my dark clouds came and dominated my heart? i couldnt stop crying, really dont know why, it looked like a thousand tears were hidden inside my soul waiting desperately to go out..........i was so absent minded and all that sadness took advantage of that, making me think in things i didnt want to think about, making me remember bad moments in my childhood, my frustrations, my disppointements, my broken dreams :-(

then i think how funny is life, because we are never happy........theres always something missing...........we may have so many good things in our lives but theres always at least one thing that we miss...........is that fair? maybe its fair, because in one hand, a total happiness is completely impossible, and in other hand, we give more importance to good things we have when there are things that are not so good.............

i always give this example: we always give more importance to a tree in the middle of a desert than to a tree in the middle of a forest, isnt it? so, if we only had trees in our heart, maybe we wouldnt give much importance to each tree there..........but if our heart is kind of a desert with not many trees, each tree for us is more precious than gold..........

yeah, in that moment suddenly i felt real miserable..........dont know why that happened to me.........maybe life is like this game called Bubblez...........we are all our life trying to reach the highest levels, but sometimes for some reason, all our work disappears and we must have the courage to start everything again from the zero...........again and again..........

bye for now and sweet dreams :-)

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